Universal Question

What do I have to do to pass University?


Having never been a uni student myself, I can only speculate based on what others tell me, but here's a few pointers that may help.

1) Do your assignments.
2) On time.
3) Do your tests.
4) Have a cool pen.
5) Listen to your lecturer. If this fails, stare at your lecturer with a glazed look whenever their mouth is moving.
6) Outside of class, discuss the things you learnt in class. However, if all you learnt is that your lecturer has a bushy beard, this may not help you memorise important details that could help you pass.
7) Especially if your lecturer is a woman.
8) Don't masturbate in class.
9) Don't masturbate other people in class.
10) Don't think about your lecturer naked in class. Regardless of whether or not this would be an appealing mental image, it is very unlikely to help you pass (results may vary if studying philosophy or psychology).

Ryan The Great

Well, start by showing up - always good, especially when they mark you on attendance which, unfortunately, they may do, but this is not often the case. Still, showing up to lectures and tutes = good thing.

Paying attention is another good thing. If you don't, there's a good chance you won't know what, the final exams suck, is going on. It can help with assignments and exams, but your mileage may vary.

Handing/sending in assignments is crucial. You can't be marked on what you don't put in and if you give nothing, you get a big, fat zero.

...or a skinny one - still the same, really.

Exams should at least be attended. Studying is a big help but again, your mileage may vary. The best thing to do in an exam is to keep your cool and do the best you can. That's all anyone can really ask for. If they ask for more, then you're totally final exams sucked.

In conclusion, you only get out what you put in. Ergo, do the best you can, and you'll get the best mark you can get.

...if it's less than passing grade, then you might want to reconsider university study.

Or, you know, "if at first, you don't succeed", etc, etc...

The Cozburger


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