'Tis The Reason

What does Christmas mean to you?


Being the Christian I am, I often feel the urge to do unChristian things to news reporters, columnists and the whole political correctness mob around this time of year. And by unChristian things, I mean beat them up zombie style.

In recent years, there has been a great deal of controversy about the presence of Santa Claus in shopping centres, which APPARENTLY is offensive to all the non-Christians of the world. I guess no one got the memo that Christianity isn't actually about worshipping Coke, and other than Santa being very loosely based on St Nick (with a gradient of accuracy akin to what happens when Disney retell the story of a magical fairy princess), Santa really has no affiliation to us.

The tree, that's what it's really about. Or at least, I'm lead to believe that the tree's what Christmas is all about, being a pagan celebration of the sun changing direction. Since the 25th of December has no biblical relevance, I denounce Christmas as being a Christian holiday at all. And I stop, point and stare at every Christmas tree I see in a church, and shout: "Heathen!" And then I get asked politely to leave.

So Christmas to me is a time when I stay up to midnight waiting for a man in red to break and enter, so that I can avenge all the children he's been watching creepily for the last 12 months. It's a time when I look to my Christian cohort with disappoint, shrug and ask: "Why?" It's a time when my family gathers together, and instantly we all wish we hadn't. It's a time when we celebrate the birth of Christ, by acting like pagans.

In other words, all of that religious crap.

Ryan The Great

Presents and presence. It's all about tradition for me. Christmas tree and decos, family (but not in the feel-good-movie way) and presents. That's basically it, for me.

None of that religious bullcrap...

The Cozburger


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