Attention Seeking

How do I get a feller's attention without dropping a laptop on his head or undressing? Or holding up a big sign?


There are many good ways to get a lad's attention. Here's some ideas that are not in the least bit good, but effective nonetheless.

- Screech at him. Then kick his dog.
- Steal his most valued possessions.
- While he's under anaesthetics, tattoo your name on him somewhere special, such as his face.
- Make sure that every time he wakes up, it's next to you. Even though he fell asleep in someone else's arms.
- Send a subtle present to him at work. You know, something that makes him wonder what the gift means, or why someone would send it to him. Nothing gets a man's attention more than the special delivery of a goat's head.
- Call him at home. Don't talk, just breathe heavily. As soon as he hangs up, call him again. He's sure to remember this.
- Take him to court under accusation of rape. This will let him know just how serious you are.

These are all sure-fire ways to gain a fellah's attention. He will probably hate you with a deadly vengeance for it, but it's almost guaranteed he'll notice you.

Ryan The Great

Well, calling his name, tapping his shoulder, and punching him in the face usually work.

...but your mileage may vary...

The Cozburger


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