Question Of Questions

I can't think of a question to ask. What should I do?


Fred, I once suffered the same problem. You may not be able to tell, but behind layer upon layer of awesome, I'm actually somewhat socially dysfunctional. Why, sometimes I'm even told to ask someone something, and still don't know what to ask.

For example, the other week, a lady pointed out another lady to me, and told me to ask her what her name was. Truth be told, some people think I'm crazy, and it stops me from knowing how to walk up to a stranger and ask for their name, without them summoning the people in white coats.

However, your problem stems even deeper than this, because instead of worrying about how to ask a question, you don't even know what the question is.

I suggest you take every statement you could think of, and find a way to turn it into a question.

For example, instead of being delighted to notice that a 50c coin has twelve sides, turn to the person next to you and say "Wouldn't you agree that a 50c coin has twelve sides?"

Instead of complaining about blue balls, turn to the person next to you and say "Would you like to have sex with me for this 12-sided 50c coin?"

And instead of telling the police that she beat you blue to make your face feel like your balls, ask them "Does Australia also say no to violence against men?"

At this rate, you will be coming up with so many questions that you will be able to effectively challenge every topic you come across, creating great conversation (because, you know, people like a challenge). You'll be asking all sorts of questions, like:

"Why do we elect only one prime minister at a time?"

"If travelling at lightspeed warps time, then are you still travelling at lightspeed?"

"Why did Ryan forget to put any jokes in this answer?"

Ryan The Great

Ignoring the fact that this, technically is a question...

What you should do is search deep within yourself for questions that aren't so serious, but that you or others may ask, like "why shouldn't you eat yellow snow", and "why shouldn't you drink sea water", etc. This is, of course if you're asking us, in which case we would give serious thought to it, then answer in some sort of nonsensical answer, or perhaps even an anecdote or something.

If you really want an honest-to-God question, you'll have to search deeper into the depths of your soul, where few would dare to tread. After that, I can't really give any advice, as I don't belong to the exclusive club that is said few...

The Cozburger


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