Romantic Blues


how come i dont have a boyfriend? i think im a good person and have alot of love to give someone but no guy has ever been interested in me. i would be so touched if a guy actually wanted to go out with me. my friends have boyfriends and i mean them no disrespect but they are realy bitchy and all they do is bitch about their guys and have tantrums... how come they are wanted by someone but not me?

Ally



In my experience, the only girls/women who can actually tell if a guy is interested in them are the ones who have 300 grotty, disgusting guys using cheap pick-up lines on them every day. Seeing as you don't get that level of male attention, it's no wonder you'd not see the signs of male interest.

The truth is, males are either really bad at showing interest in females because they're too shy to even look at you, or we're really bad at showing interest because we march up to every female we encounter and tell her how great her boobs are. One way or the other, it's hard to tell if he's truly interested, until you've developed the skills of a woman who gets hit on all the time.

So the trick is to dress something revealing, put on some make-up that says "I put out for $17.50," and go to the lowest class of pub you can find. The more boganish the crowd, the more males will see and think that you are in fact female and put out, and thus the more will start walking up to you, throwing bad pick-up lines and complimenting your boobs.

Just remember to be a bitch at all times - you don't want to wake up next to one of them under any circumstance. If you're confused at all, try to remember this: a slut will sleep with anyone; a bitch will sleep with anyone but you. So just keep being a bitch to everyone until you find Mr Right. Apparently it's working wonders for your friends.

Ryan The Great

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